


no looking back for us... we got love.

by suicidejane



Series: Motown One Shots [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Family Feels, M/M, Panic, Possible Character Death, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson Feels, Steve Feels, Wakanda, love and war, vibranium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13776099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicidejane/pseuds/suicidejane
Summary: “Promise you won’t do anything stupid…” Bucky’s words are soft and pleading, the worst kind of war music...Later on... Sam does something stupid. He needs a spanking but doesn't get it in this one.





	no looking back for us... we got love.

**Author's Note:**

> Song Title: You’re All I Need to Get By... Artist: Marvin Gaye, Tammi Terrell

“Promise you won’t do anything stupid…” Bucky’s words are soft and pleading, the worst kind of war music. So naturally, Sam doesn’t answer.

Instead, his foot taps the floor of the transport carrier. Everyone in the joint sits restlessly to some capacity. All adorn matching tactical outfits, the finest the South African kingdom has to offer. More than sufficient to accommodate their powers.

Swells of heat brew around him. He can’t move his frame too much without throwing off the two beings holding him steady. On either side of him, a super-soldier radiates at sweltering temperatures. The thought drags a deep sigh out of the wingless Falcon.

There’s no wiggle room which is absurd seeing as the stealth craft is big enough to hold more than a dozen people. As for now its Wanda, Clint, Scott, Natasha, T’Challa, Okoye, and Ayo spread out comfortably except for Sam; he’s the meat in a Steve and Bucky sandwich.

‘I’m a Samwich,’ Sam thinks to himself, smiling more than he should at the joke. From there he stifles a yawn.

It’s hard work being on the run. Thankfully that isn’t a worry in Wakanda -- a treasure trove of technological wonder. It didn’t take long, for doctors to deprogram Bucky. Just like that, they’re together again. From there the rogue Avengers rest in the kingdom and stay off the radar except for impromptu missions.

This is one of their missions.

“Brief us, captain.” T’Challa’s elegant voice floats through the aircraft better than a loudspeaker.

Sam cranes his neck to look at Steve. Steve’s face now wears a thick beard and worry lines weathering his face. This isn’t the same man running circles around him in D.C. He’s so much more than that now.

He feels the hot body next to him rise and joins King T’Challa.

“I need everyone on their A-Game, we’re assisting a group of freedom fighters to regain control of Imaya from Eda Arul. We have intel that he’s assassinated the former leaders of that nation and now enslave its people.”

“You didn’t wanna grab any bodyguards on the way out? I don’t know if we can’t take an entire army. I mean I know we’re pretty badass but...” Scott sounds as unsure as he looks.

“With a population of 2 million, we are supporting a rebel force of over 400,000.” T’Challa’s words garner a series of whistles.

“Holy shit.”

“If they have that many people what do they need us for,” Natasha says.

“Seeing as Eda used Chitauri technology to take over the government it seems that the people are at a disadvantage… isicangci.” Ayo lets the words off her tongue. They have come to learn the foreign word means only to antagonize Natasha——little spider.

Natasha manages a deep breath and savage glare before Steve cuts in. “Save it for the battle ahead.”

“Wouldn’t an airstrike have worked best,” Sam says as the pilot in him works out the logistics of a plan like that.

“Normally yes, but we would hate for any more of the alien weapons to fall into the wrong hands before we can locate the dealer.”

“A dealer? How does a gun runner get their hands on Chitaura technology?” Wanda’s confusion agrees with Sam; he looks to Steve but Clint answers.

“New York.”

Silence pitches through space, roaring louder than whatever response any of them can muster. They all understand the ramifications of war, the damage it can do, the lives it changes.

“These are very bad people, we will not be taking any prisoners.” The king speaks to the room but glances at Steve.

“I don’t have a problem with that.” Steve meets the king’s stare head-on and Sam can tell Steve means it. He isn’t Captain America anymore.

“Approaching destination… prepare for evac. We’ll monitor from here.” Suri’s voices echo smoothly around them as if she’s in the same room.

“Be my eyes sister.”

“Of course brother.” Suri pilots the plane remotely from Wakanda, an amazing feat Sam still finds hard believing.

Sam feels awkward listening to the siblings sharing an intimate moment before heading into battle. And like that it hits. The calm airiness leaves him and in its place something more violent and out-of-control sweeps through him. A dangerous chill licks up his back and chisel away at the nerves in his thighs.

Just as he feels himself cycling out of control, Steve returns to his side. Bucky’s hand grips his thigh. Steve’s thumb rubs circles on the back of his neck. Sam catches Scott’s eye, they both smile sheepishly at each other. A year after the Raft and the fugitives practically live on top of each other.

It isn’t just Sam, Steve, and Bucky; they all share intimate touches, embraces and general lack of breathing room. Sam sees the tiny gestures sweeping through the makeshift family. They reassure each other that this isn’t the last rodeo; they’re all coming home.

“If my suit didn’t work I’d shit a brick,” Scott says to no one at all.

Sam feels a sting in the pit of his chest. Lang isn’t going out his way to act like a dick, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Engineers in Wakanda spend days toiling away reconstructing the weapons they no longer call their own: arms, shields, arrows, particle suits, and not to mention a new set of wings. Waiting in line isn’t hard, he prefers everyone has what they need. He will sooner take a loss than see someone to get hurt because they didn’t have the upgrades he did.

The only downside to that is, without his wings, Sam’s another human on the ground. Even though it sucks, he’d rather be in the fight than on the sidelines.

Steve nor Bucky will ever in good conscience tell another soldier to “sit this one out” but he knows they’re dying to. He doesn’t touch them back or they’ll know he isn’t sturdy like in D.C or Schkeuditz.

The endless battles are catching up with him. He isn’t about to let on to Steve or Bucky for that matter.

The plane makes a soft descent into an open brush of tall grass. The ramp releases and the team prepare to descend. A small group of men and women wait.

Everyone exits. Their game faces ready for war. The two super soldiers lead the group. Sam eyes them both from his position in the back. Steve’s fingers brush against Bucky’s equally fleshy hand. They briefly lean into each other before drifting apart down the ramp. Sam sighs as a warmth spreads across his body.

“I am sorry about your wings Sam.” The King’s voice is even but not without remorse.

Sam continues to eye the men ahead and smiles. That’s the closest they’ll come to a kiss before riding out into a blaze of glory. Sam won’t have it any other way.

“I’ll live without it…”

* * *

 

Star Wars ain’t got nothing on this orchestra of death, a true theater of violence. Sam almost pat himself on the back when another streak of blue light whizzes by him. After that, it’s a series of them. He doesn’t get to see it.

“Get down!” Bucky yanks him down to the ground. The impact hurts but at least Bucky saves Sam the dignity of not turning himself into a human shield. Bucky hops to his feet moments later and charges ahead.

The stage is set outside of the city and away from innocent civilians. Trees and brush close the wide space but some of it spills into those areas as well, the onslaught is a mess. Sounds of agony and approaching death acts as surround sound.

Sam doesn’t rise to his own feet with the same vigor as Bucky. The fight wears down his human bones. The ache and fatigue show themselves as an equal part enemy and warning signs.

Sam looks to his left, Steve and T’Challa force the troops ahead, they eat through Eda’s people like its nothing. To his right, Natasha and Clint seem to be slowing down, for that he’s grateful.

BOOM! About a mile away, Scott’s giant feet trample people like insects; the sound is gut-wrenching. Wanda flies above raining down orangish-red streaks from the skies decimating men. It’s quite an amazing sight. Sam finds himself admiring the battle and how well their team manages their job in such a short time.

The fight begins to reach the city limits possibly endangering people inside. Eda is still nowhere in sight.

“Move Wilson!” Okoye's voice beckons him to follow the direction but instead, two shadowy figures leap over his crouching form like gazelles.

Ayo and Okoye land like superheroes but unlike himself, and the spies they don’t appear to have a bit of sweat on them. They advance without a second to spare.

They’re doing more than well but that this rate, it’ll cost more lives than it’s worth. Sam starts to his feet when he sees it. Not even a click away is Eda, he and another creep toward a military helicopter.

Sam looks around but everyone has their hands full. Because he is Sam Wilson, a United States Air Force Veteran, he’ll do it himself.

With new energy coursing through his body Sam launches into the direction of the rebel leader. Sam ducks incoming fire, flying objects, bodies, and fists. He manages a few solid takedowns of his own.

Eda’s guy gets inside and sits in the pilot’s chair. Sam grunts as the blades begin to rotate. They’re gonna take off so Sam picks up the speed.

Before he realizes it, Sam closes in on the helicopter. The henchman must have forgotten something because Eda is screaming at him. Both of their backs are to their only means of escape. Instead of tiptoeing the distance to the chopper Sam bolts for it.

He hops in the already open door. It’s a Boeing AH-64 Apache and Sam can fly it. He doesn’t bother strapping in before pulling the lever and twisting the throttle. To avoid detection as much as possible he ascends slowly. His foot weighs down the pedal just enough so that as he’s taking off the aircraft dips away from the fleeing dictator.

Eda and his man must realize what’s happening. The craft jerks left… hard.

* * *

Bucky and Steve go pound for pound on the battlefield. They knock down their enemy one after the other. It’s times like these, in the thick of it where they both feel like it’s 1942 all over again.

Steve goes left and Bucky covers his right. To be honest, they move like a well-oiled machine, even the humans——

It hits Bucky like a train. The fear races through his veins like ice, chilling him to his core. His eyes dart from one part of the field to the other. The chaos is all consuming but he doesn’t see Sam anywhere.

He wants to give Sam the credit he deserves. He’s a veteran, capable, strong and he doesn’t need two super soldiers watching over him on the battlefield. He states that exact sentiment countlessly.

Bucky scans the ground because the enemy’s using alien technology and Sam’s human, one wrong hit and he’s done. There are bodies on top of bodies and some of their faces are unrecognizable. Panic rises within him as he tosses the corpses, desperate to identify them.

A strong hand twist him around, it’s Steve.

“Buck, what are you doing? We have to keep moving.”

“I need to find Sam, I can’t see him,” Bucky’s voice is frantic.

Steve sighs. He knows Sam can take care of himself but Bucky still can’t separate his actions as the Winter Soldier from who he really is. Under Hydra influence, Bucky did some terrible things and some of those things to people he loves. Sometimes he wakes up in a cold sweat and sees the scars he gave Sam. In those moments he doesn’t care that Sam’s willing and able, Bucky just wants to keep him safe.

Right now, Sam Wilson is not safe.

“Buck…” Steve needs so desperately to calm his lover and comrade but he can’t bring himself to do so.

Steve understands the need to protect Sam just as much as Bucky. Sam is fragile, where Steve and Bucky heal in a matter of hours, Sam takes days or weeks. He takes the same chances as them. He makes the effort to jump, swim, run and fight just as hard as they do. It’s easy to respect him but its damn hard to watch someone throttle him in a fight and know that he’s gonna get back up and doesn’t need one of them throwing down in his honor.

The wind around them picks up. Their hair, the dust, and debris, it’s too much not for them to shield their eyes. Steve squints in the direction of the disturbance. An Apache helicopter lifts off the ground with Eda and another hanging off the side. In the pilot seat is Sam.

“Jesus.” Bucky sees it too.

Steve can’t stop himself. Together in perfect harmony he and Bucky eat through fighters like candy. Neither can take their eyes off of Sam. The shouting emitting from their earpieces is too much, Steve almost wants to turn it off.

“Wanda or Lang get to the fucking chopper, Sam’s inside!” Bucky sounds horrible. The frequency sucks with everyone talking at the same time.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve sees the king pounce from person to person; he’s making his way to the chopper as well. Soon all three come to a stop, the craft is way too high off the ground.

There’s a visible shift in the momentum surrounding them. The fighting stops and everyone shift their attention to the escaping dictator and the lone avenger trying to stop him. T’Challa’s speaking into his com but Steve can’t hear what he’s saying and Bucky doesn’t care.

Sam tries to shake off the offending passengers, he evades their efforts left and right. Alas, Eda and the other man manage their way inside. Steve and feels the panic and rage roll off of Bucky as a war cry erupts from his own person.

The chopper begins a weird dance. It swings from one side to the other, tipping back and forth— it’s a fight for control. The craft takes a dramatic dip, it nosedives for the ground. It only lasts a second before the worst thing lovers can see happens.

Sam jumps out the chopper, it’s too far from the ground. His arms and legs are spread out like he’s flying. He looks so happy. Aside from that, the rest is a hallmark of tragedy. From inside a blue beam of light shoots out and strikes Sam in the chest.

The best parts about being superhuman are also the worst. Steve and Bucky can see plain and clear as the freeing look Sam has on his face quickly goes dark. Steve takes off bulldozing through people. He and Bucky try in vain to make it to the landing spot before Sam’s body does.

Right before he crashes to the Earth a burst of orange light halts his descent. Wanda lends his body to the ground gently, he isn’t moving. Bucky reaches Sam just as his hand hits the ground, several clips fall out of his palm. Steve looks from the helicopter to Bucky.

“Everyone get down!”

Bucky throws himself on top of Sam and Steve does the same for Bucky. Seconds later a massive explosion shakes the ground. Eda Arul is dead.

When the smoke clears the team races for them. Wanda drops from the sky and her knees buckle as soon as she hits the ground. Lang scoops her up and holds her close to his chest. Natalie and Clint don’t stop until their steps away and even then Natalie keeps going.

“Come on you son of a bitch! Breathe!”

“We can’t lose him, Steve...” Bucky’s voice is in a thousand pieces. “Be careful… his chest. You’re gonna break it.”

Steve counts out how many times he pumps his palms into Sam’s chest. A large dent from where the blue beam of light hit him is the only reason there isn't a massive hole in it.

“Captain, an E-Vac has been dispatched… it will be here soon.” T’Challa doesn’t swoop into the rescue but he takes a knee in solidarity. “Hold on Sam.”

“Baby please,” Steve’s beginning to lose balance, his compressions are sloppy. Natasha eases him out the way.

Natasha takes over and Bucky’s rocking back and forth. Sam’s eyes are open and lifeless. A loud and consistent drum fills the air. Wakandan ships hover above the slain and still standing warriors.

Bucky crawls over to Sam, his hands cup his face as he leans in close. “I told you to be careful. You’re supposed to come home. We can’t do this without you.”

Steve joins Bucky. His fingers ghost over his dirt and sweat laden skin. He wipes his forehead, his cheeks--cleaning him.

Behind them, a rush of bodies shoves their way through. Steve drags his hand over Sam’s open eyes to close them. Natasha and Clint grab both of the super soldiers out the away. Around them, a now free country rejoices just as their world falls apart.

* * *

His eyelids feel like anvils. His eyelashes are in knots. It takes wiggling his whole face to untangle himself from the darkness. When Sam does open his eyes it takes a moment to figure out where he is. The dark room leaves a lot to the imagination, for all he knows he could be dead.

“On your left.” The deadpan voice is heavy and jarring. Sam searches the room for the source.

With a flick, the light above him brightens to a manageable degree. On his left is Steve, the super soldier sits in against the wall. The seriousness in his face and body are incorrigible. Sam’s eyes sweep the rest of the room and in the corner by the door is Bucky.

The still shadowy room shields his face from Sam’s vision.

With a deep sigh, Sam closes his eyes. He thanks, God because he could be dead right now but thankfully he isn’t. He’s gonna get another day, another chance, with his team and his lovers by his side. That thought alone ushers him to try and sit up.

“Lie down!” Steve’s stern voice commands him like never before. It also brings about a pain in his chest. Steve doesn’t yell, especially at Sam or Bucky, so to hear him doing so is too shocking to combat.

Sam tries to wet his lips but his tongue is desert dry. Breathing through his mouth makes it worse. “Wat—wa—ter…”

The shakiness in his voice alerts Steve out of his angry trance. He fetches a nifty looking water drop from a bowl. He steadies it against Sam’s lips. “Take it slow.”

As soon as the water coats his mouth Sam can feel the life inside him pick up. He’s gaining energy, perspective, and most importantly resolve… boy he loves Wakanda. He wiggles around on the panel beneath him but the pain is still too great.

“You’re still healing Sam.” Bucky’s broken voice stills him from across the room.

Finally finding his voice Sam looks in his direction. “Come closer, I can’t see you from over there.” Sam’s hand reaches out to the figure in the darkness.

Like he’s following a beacon Bucky goes to him. Sam feels the strain in his chest at the sight of his lover. His long hair sticks to his wet face. Tears pool in his eyes, red nose, and his human hand trembles. Sam wants to run to him. “Oh, baby.”

From there that’s all it takes before Bucky’s knees buckle. He carefully drapes himself over Sam and cries. Sam can feel his own tears. He can feel Steve hovering above him too afraid to touch him.

It takes a minute before Bucky can get a hold of himself but eventually he does but Sam interlocks their fingers so he can’t get too far away. He looks at the two super soldiers before asking:

“What happened?”

Steve snorts before rising out the chair. Sam can feel Bucky’s fingers curl into a punishing grip.

“Steve?”

“I don’t think I can watch you two fall to the ground anymore. I can’t do it. I had to do it with Buck now you… Sam, I can’t do this shit.” Hearing the cuss word leave Steve’s mouth feels wrong.

“I’m sor—

“No, you’re not!”

“Steve.” Bucky’s voice is that of ice and it chills Steve’s anger. He turns to Sam shortly after. “What do you remember?”

“I was flying… it’s been so long since… I missed my wings. I jumped from the plane and then nothing.”

Steve takes one of those deep breaths like he’s struggling to breathe. Thankfully Bucky doesn’t let go but his grip is getting too tight for comfort. Sam knows he can’t leave them like this even for a moment so he continues.

"I didn't want anything to happen to any of you. Rather me than any of you."

Bucky lets go of his hand. Steve whips around with his hands on his hips. "Excuse me!"

“I just wanted to help. I was feeling so useless. There was so much happening… so much death. If I could just get my hands on Eda then maybe the rest of them would stop fighting. I never meant for anything bad to happen. I just wanted to be useful.”

“You’re a hell of a lot useful dead Sam!” Steve’s cracking, not even the anger is holding up. “You fell out the sky, you were shot. If it weren’t for the vibranium in the suit then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Your heart stopped. You were dead… FOR FIVE MINUTES! YOU WERE GONE! What was I supposed to tell Sarah? How were we supposed to come back here?”

The remainder of Steve’s rant falls to pieces and the rest of him dissolves on the floor. Sam tries again. He bites back the pain and moves to sit up. Bucky helps him knowing that Sam won’t give up until he does. He can’t walk so he nods at Bucky to collect his other lover from the floor.

Steve’s a stumbling mess but he makes it. Sam wraps his arms around the fallen soldier in his lap. “Not again Sammy. Not fucking again. Please don’t do this to us. No more.”

Sam feels his own tears free on his face. Bucky carefully gathers them both in his lap. “Sammy just listen to him.”

Sam doesn’t know what else to say. Steve’s begging him to stand down and Bucky’s not objecting. The supermen are done having their mortal boyfriend in danger. Sam knows that it’s gonna take time and he won’t be able to return to action anytime soon but that doesn’t matter.

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

* * *

 

The rest of the Avengers make their way to the recovery room. They’re anxious to see Sam after having Suri alert them. They don’t knock. The door slides open and there on the medical bay is Sam with Steve and Bucky laying against his sides—protecting him.

Sam’s awake but he waves them away. He’d hug them later and hopefully, they too will forgive him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Love it or Hate it?


End file.
